How to Track Progress to Maintain Your Motivation

Mentor Self-Care

Overcoming a bad habit is challenging and often frustrating, but staying motivated and on track is key to success. By tracking your progress, you will see how far you’ve come, identify areas for improvement, and stay motivated to keep going.

Here are several tips to get you started.

  • Set Specific, Achievable Goals – Almost nothing is more important than setting the right type of goals. Staying on track will be more difficult if the goals are not specific and achievable. For example, if you’re trying to break the habit of procrastination, your goal might be to complete all tasks within a certain timeframe or reduce the amount of time you procrastinate each day.
  • Keep a Journal – A journal is a great way to track your progress and reflect on your habits. Write down your goals, progress, and any challenges or setbacks you encounter. This helps you stay accountable as you continue working towards your goals.
  • Use a Habit Tracker – Habit trackers are useful for monitoring your progress and staying on track. You can use a physical tracker such as a planner or notebook, or a digital app such as Coach.me, Habitica, or Habitbull.
  • Celebrate Small Victories – It’s important to celebrate your progress, no matter how small. When you celebrate your progress, the feeling will help you continue working towards your goals. For example, if you’re trying to break the habit of overeating, you might celebrate reaching a certain weight-loss milestone or simply making it through the day without overeating.
  • Seek Support – Having a supportive network of friends, family, or a professional therapist can make a big difference in your success in overcoming a bad habit. They will provide encouragement, accountability, and a listening ear when struggling.
  • Find an Accountability Partner – An accountability partner helps you stay accountable for your progress toward achieving your goals. You can work with them to set goals, track your progress, and offer encouragement and support.
  • Reward Yourself – Rewarding yourself for making progress is a great motivator. You can reward yourself with something small, such as a special treat or a small gift, or something more substantial, such as a day out or a weekend trip. Just be sure to keep your rewards in line with your goals and progress.
  • Stay Positive – It’s important to stay positive and keep an optimistic mindset, even when things get tough. When you’re more upbeat about the situation, continuing to work towards your goals is a lot more fun. Try to focus on the progress you’ve made and the positive changes you’ve experienced rather than dwelling on setbacks or failures.

Tracking your progress and staying motivated is vital to overcoming bad habits. When you create a plan, you will stay on track, working towards your goals little by little. As a result, you’ll avoid getting overwhelmed and won’t even need that much motivation. Plus, you will overcome bad habits and lead a happier, healthier life with patience, perseverance, and a commitment to self-improvement.

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Recognizing and Removing Triggers

Mentor Self-Care

Everyone practices bad habits they would like to break. But before that can happen, you must first understand what triggers these habits.

If you don’t already know, a trigger is a stimulus that prompts a particular behavior or response. Triggers can be external, such as a specific location or time of day, or internal, such as a particular emotion or thought.

A bad habit is a negative or harmful behavior that you do mindlessly, such as procrastination, overeating, or smoking. However, you can turn your triggers into a positive action when you recognize them. With time and effort, you can make the trigger cause you to perform a good habit instead of a harmful one, using the very human nature that led to the bad habit in the first place.

Examples of Potential Triggers

Let’s look at a few examples of potential triggers:

  • A certain time of day – Maybe your habit is snacking on junk food late at night. The trigger, in this case, might be boredom or stress after a long day.
  • A specific location – Maybe you have a habit of procrastinating at home. The trigger, in this case, might be complicated but it can be anything from clutter to feeling overwhelmed and overworked.
  • A particular emotion – Maybe you have a habit of smoking when you’re feeling anxious or stressed. The trigger, in this case, is the emotion of anxiety or stress.

Bad Habits That Triggers May Lead To

Some bad habits that the triggers may lead to include:

  • Procrastination – Putting off responsibilities until the last minute.
  • Overeating – Consuming more food than is necessary or healthy.
  • Smoking – Using tobacco products, which can have negative effects on your health.
  • Biting your nails – A nervous habit that can damage your nails and skin.

Identifying Your Triggers

It’s not always easy to identify your triggers, but here are some useful techniques:

  • Keep a journal. Track your moods, thoughts, and physical symptoms when you experience a trigger.
  • Take note of any patterns in your behavior when you are triggered.
  • Speak to a therapist or counselor about your triggers.
  • Periodically assess how you respond to certain situations or environments.
  • Use mindfulness to identify and process your emotional reactions when you experience triggers.
  • Consider your past experiences for clues about what may trigger certain emotions.
  • Practice relaxation and stress management techniques to help you gain control over your reactions.

Try to participate in more activities that help you to become more self-aware. Focus on mindfulness, like meditation, yoga, and walking in nature as you contemplate your life and how far you’ve come toward your goals.

Turning the Trigger into Something Positive

Once you have identified the trigger, the next step is to turn it into a catalyst for performing a positive habit. If you can’t remove the trigger from your environment, replacing the bad habit with a healthy one is optimal.

For instance, if the trigger for your bad habit is a certain time of day, try setting a reminder to do something else at that time. For example, if you know that every day around 3 PM, you feel like snacking on unhealthy junk food, prepare a healthy snack to enjoy instead.

If the trigger is a specific location, try to avoid that location as much as possible, or somehow change your response. However, if you feel anxious every day at home, you’ll need to figure out why because you can’t change your location. Maybe you need to declutter your environment or fix something else at home. Perhaps you just need to go for a walk.

If the trigger is an emotion, try practicing stress-management techniques or find a healthy way to cope with your feelings. It’s okay to acknowledge feelings without reacting to them. Try writing in your journal or meditating. Most of all, instead of engaging in a bad habit, replace it with a healthy one. It just makes sense that if you’re trying to break the habit of overeating, for example, you should focus on keeping healthy snacks around, such as fruit or nuts, and find alternative activities to do instead of eating.

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Breaking the Cycle of Bad Habits: Positive Alternatives

Mentor Self-Care

Bad habits often feel like a never-ending cycle that you just can’t seem to break free from. Whether it’s procrastination, overeating, or overspending, these behaviors interfere with your ability to live the life you were meant to live and achieve your goals.

Cycles of Bad Habits

One common cycle of bad habits is the tendency to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms in times of stress or boredom.

For example, someone who struggles with anxiety may turn to overeating or substance abuse to cope with their feelings. Unfortunately, these behaviors only provide temporary relief and ultimately worsen the problem in the long run.

Another cycle of bad habits is the tendency to prioritize short-term pleasure over long-term wellbeing.

For example, someone who frequently skips workouts or consumes unhealthy foods may do so because it provides immediate satisfaction or another payoff. However, doing this is very likely to have negative consequences on their physical and mental health in the long run.

Breaking the Cycle of Bad Habits

Breaking the cycle of bad habits requires a concerted effort to identify and address the underlying causes of these behaviors.

It may involve seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you figure out healthy coping mechanisms based on your particular problems and setting clear goals and boundaries for yourself.

To break the cycle of bad habits, you need to replace them with positive alternatives. Once you identify the bad habit, you’ll need to determine which alternative activities or behaviors will fulfill your true needs and desires, so you stop relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms or short-term pleasure.

For example:

  • Overeating – Instead of overeating when feeling stressed, you can try going for a fast walk or engaging in relaxing activities like meditation or yoga in place of the former bad habit.
  • Procrastination – Instead of procrastinating on tasks, try setting clear goals and deadlines, while breaking larger tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks to prevent overwhelm in the first place.
  • Smoking – Instead of smoking cigarettes, try using nicotine gum or patches to wean yourself off nicotine gradually. You can also try activities that help you relax, like exercise or meditation, to help manage cravings.
  • Drinking too much alcohol – Instead of relying on alcohol to cope with stress or to have fun, try going for a walk, taking a hot bath, or engaging in a hobby. You can also try finding healthy ways to manage stress, such as exercise, therapy, or relaxation techniques.
  • Biting your nails – Instead of biting your nails, keep your nails trimmed and filed. In addition, try applying bitter-tasting nail polish to your nails to discourage biting. You can also try using a stress ball or other activity that requires using your hands to interrupt the urge to bite your nails.
  • Skipping meals – Instead of skipping meals, plan out your meals and snacks in advance by including tasty and healthy options that will keep you satisfied. You can also try setting reminders to eat, and eat at regular intervals throughout the day to help regulate your appetite and prevent overeating.

Replacing bad habits with positive alternatives requires effort and self-reflection, but the benefits are significant. Not only will these positive habits improve your physical and mental health, but they will also increase your sense of accomplishment and overall satisfaction with life.

Ultimately, breaking the cycle of bad habits is about taking control of your life and accepting that only you choose your actions. Remember to prioritize your wellbeing as you devise replacement habits to break the cycle of bad habits. When you replace unhealthy behaviors with positive alternatives, you will live the life you were meant to live and achieve your full potential.

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5 Tips to Make It Easier to Ask for What You Want

Mentor Self-Care

Asking for what you want may feel uncomfortable and awkward, which may mean you try to avoid it no matter how badly you want help. Practice will give you the experience and confidence to take bolder steps and be more assertive with your asks. Before you start shooting for the moon asking for what you want, consider these 5 tips.

  1. Know yourself. Knowing yourself is a form of confidence. Knowing who you are, what makes you tick, what your strengths and your weaknesses are gives you a firm foundation to know where you are coming from with your ask. The more you know about yourself, and the more self-aware you are about your limitations, the better you can be at interpersonal relationships. Striving to be whole and healthy reduces our negative traits – like arrogance, aggression, and playing the victim. People who know themselves well are decisive and self-assured. They ask for help when they need it and are less likely to be unnecessarily needy or over-reliant. This increases the likelihood they will get what they want and need.
  2. Be consistent. Be consistent with your expectations. Those in relationships with you will be able to better predict your behavior and may be more able to help out without being asked. If you consistently ask for help unloading the car full of groceries – and show cheerful gratitude for their help – before long, the family will start meeting you at the car when you pull in.
  3. Value opinions. People value us for what we value. If you want your opinions and desires to matter, be aware of the opinions and desires of others. Be inclusive, communal, and concerned about the needs of those around you – but not at the expense of your own. If your children witness you valuing what they ask of you and you present a model how to ask and to be asked, you are setting an excellent example for them as they grow.
  4. Be unattached to the outcome. When asking a question, no must be an acceptable answer. Otherwise, it isn’t a question – it’s a command. Be comfortable with hearing the word “no” and moving on. Asking for help and not ending up receiving it can be a bummer, but it is also an important part of reality. Sometimes people can’t help. Sometimes they won’t. Being able to regroup, move on, and either ask someone else or find a different solution is the key. Don’t let yourself be crushed and turn a rejection into personal pain.
  5. Practice. Practice asking. Try small, safe asks, and work up to big, bold asks whenever you can. This is like learning a new language. Asking has its own way about it, and over time you will get the hang of it.

These tips will ensure you have the foundation and the mindset you need to ask for what you want and build wonderful relationships. You’ll be living a life where asking and being asked go hand in hand.

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Start Small And Work Your Way Up To Asking For Bigger Things

Mentor Self-Care

If you’ve lived your life unable, or unwilling, to ask for what you want or need, it can feel like speaking a foreign language. Your tongue can’t seem to form the words “Would you, could you, will you”? Let alone, “I’ll have, I’d like, I’ll take…” It’s going to take some practice to get you ready to ask for bigger things.

Here’s some ways to start small and work your way up to asking for bigger things:

Small Asks

Pick a restaurant. When someone asks, “Where should we eat?” be ready with your answer. Pick your favorite place and get ready for Taco Tuesday or French Fry Friday!

Pick a movie. Hate horror flicks and love a great rom-com? The next time you go to a movie, ask to see the movie you want to see – and grab some popcorn with extra butter.

Delegate one chore. Passing on responsibility can be hard for many reasons, but getting the help you need is more important than any reason you may have for hesitating. Delegate to someone else one chore that you can let go of that will make a positive impact for you.

Medium Asks

Ask a friend for help. Admitting to a friend that we could use some help can feel vulnerable. A good-sized medium ask includes exposing a need to a friend and getting their support. Need help tackling an out of control closet? Ask a friend who loves to organize for their help getting your space in order. You might be pleasantly surprised to learn they want to help.

Outsource help at home. Many of the places we feel overwhelmed and in need of help are tied to our home. From lawns to mow, to weeds to pull, to ceiling fan blades to clean, we just can’t seem to get ahead. Outsourcing some tasks at home can free up time and energy better used in other places. Have an important conversation with your spouse about rearranging your budget to get the help you need.

Share a secret desire with your spouse. This may feel like a big ask, but it really is a medium-sized ask. Approach your spouse with a long-held wish for your relationship that will make it stronger and happier. Consider what you’d love to be, do, or have in your relationship and ask your spouse to come on board with your plan. When they see the benefits they get from your happiness, they will be glad to help out.

Big Asks

Ask for support from your boss. Admitting that you need help at work might feel like a suicide mission, but it needn’t be the end of the world. Oftentimes, employers want to know when a system isn’t working or there is a way to increase production and desired outcomes. The key to this big ask is already having a solution in mind when you approach the boss. Come to them with a solution to a problem and the answer is usually Y.E.S.

Ask for the job. Do you keep waiting to be noticed? Are you putting in effort hoping that the right person will take action and hire you? Fortune favors the bold is a common translation of a Latin proverb. If you want the customer, the contract, or the job – ask for it.

Renegotiate a contract. Contracts are meant to be binding, but sometimes there are windows of opportunity to make changes. If you are unhappy with a service or a contract, don’t passively suffer. Be bold and ask for change. The worst that can happen is that nothing changes. The best thing that can happen is renewed confidence and a new, more beneficial contract.

Learning a new language takes time and practice. It’s the same for learning new behaviors. Developing the confidence to ask for what you want is easier if you take it in small steps, building on one another. Start with small asks and gather momentum as you reach higher and receive more.

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Discover the Transformative Power of Journaling

Journal Mentor Self-Care

Must-Listen Episode on Rising Radiance: Awakening Your Authentic Self

Are you seeking a path to self-discovery, emotional healing, and creativity? Look no further! We invite you to join us on a captivating journey into the world of journaling, as host Kim shares the profound impact this practice can have on our lives. Welcome to another enlightening episode of Rising Radiance: Awakening Your Authentic Self.

The Magic of Journaling

Journaling is more than just putting words on paper; it’s a transformative practice that allows us to delve into the depths of our souls. Host Kim beautifully guides us through this sacred process, where we can express our thoughts, dreams, and fears without judgment. Through heartfelt conversations with our inner selves, we begin to unlock the magic of self-awareness and self-compassion.

The Therapeutic Benefits

As we listen to Kim, we discover the therapeutic benefits of journaling. From reducing stress and anxiety to aiding emotional healing, this simple yet powerful tool becomes a guiding light through life’s challenges. In times of uncertainty, journaling becomes a lifeline that helps us navigate and find clarity amidst the chaos.

Igniting Creativity

The episode also explores how journaling sparks the flames of creativity. Kim shares insights into how this practice can unleash our imagination, enabling us to tap into our creative reservoir and breathe life into our dreams and ideas. Whether you’re an aspiring writer, artist, or simply seeking to add a touch of creativity to your life, journaling will be your trusted ally.

Manifesting Goals and Aspirations

Are you looking to set meaningful goals and turn them into reality? Kim explains how journaling can be the compass that guides us towards our desired destinations. By putting our aspirations on paper and breaking them into actionable steps, we reclaim the power to shape our destinies and walk confidently towards our dreams.

Embracing Authenticity

Beyond its transformative impact on our emotional and creative spheres, journaling becomes an essential key to unlocking the doors of self-discovery. With Kim’s guidance, we learn how consistent journaling reveals patterns in our thoughts and behavior, guiding us towards embracing our authentic selves. The process is liberating and empowers us to live life with greater authenticity and vulnerability.

Embrace the Journey of Self-Discovery

If you’re ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing, and creativity, this is an episode you don’t want to miss. Tune in to Rising Radiance: Awakening Your Authentic Self, and let Kim be your guide as we awaken our true selves through the art of journaling.

Join the Radiant Community

We welcome you to join the vibrant community of Rising Radiance, where we believe in supporting one another on our paths to authenticity and self-discovery. Subscribe to our podcast, leave a review, and share it with your loved ones who are also seeking to unleash their inner radiance.

Disclaimer

Remember, the content of this podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional advice. If you have specific concerns, always consult a qualified professional.

Embrace the transformative power of journaling and let your inner radiance shine brighter than ever before! Tune in to Rising Radiance: Awakening Your Authentic Self and embark on a journey of self-discovery, creativity, and emotional healing.

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Celebrating the Full Corn Moon and Lammas: Embracing Abundance and Harvest

Moon WheelofYear

As we step into the month of August, the skies adorn themselves with two significant celestial events: the Full Corn Moon and Lammas. This enchanting combination of the lunar phase and the ancient festival invites us to reflect on the bountiful gifts of nature and the rich traditions that connect us to our agricultural roots. In this blog post, we will delve into the meaning and significance of the Full Corn Moon and Lammas, as well as explore how we can celebrate these occasions and embrace the spirit of abundance.

The Full Corn Moon: Nature’s Radiant Glow

The Full Corn Moon, also known as the “Grain Moon,” is a spectacle that illuminates the night sky with its radiant glow. This lunar event occurs when the moon is fully illuminated, a moment symbolizing completion and fruition. The name “Corn Moon” originates from Native American cultures, which often tied the moon’s phases to the agricultural cycles. During August, it’s the time when corn, as well as other crops, reaches its full ripeness, ready for harvest.

The Full Corn Moon serves as a reminder of the cyclical nature of life, where we sow the seeds of intention, nurture them with care, and eventually reap the rewards of our efforts. It encourages us to celebrate the abundance that surrounds us, fostering gratitude for the blessings we have received.

Lammas: Honoring the First Harvest

Lammas, also known as “Lughnasadh,” is an ancient Celtic festival celebrated on August 1st, marking the halfway point between the summer solstice and the autumn equinox. The name “Lammas” originates from the Old English term “hlafmaesse,” which translates to “loaf mass.” This festival centers around the theme of the first harvest, where communities gather to give thanks for the grains and fruits that sustain them.

Lammas pays homage to the Celtic god Lugh, a deity associated with the sun, light, and the skills of the harvest. During this festival, people engage in traditional rituals, including the baking and sharing of bread, feasting, and dancing. The festivities symbolize the interconnectedness between humans and nature, recognizing the cyclical nature of life and death and the dependence on the Earth’s abundance.

Celebrating Abundance: How to Embrace the Spirit of Full Corn Moon and Lammas

Create an Altar: Set up a meaningful altar or sacred space adorned with seasonal fruits, grains, and flowers. This space can serve as a focal point for gratitude and reflection.

Feast with Friends and Family: Organize a communal feast, incorporating freshly harvested produce and traditional bread. Sharing a meal with loved ones strengthens bonds and cultivates a sense of community.

Express Gratitude: Take a moment to express gratitude for the abundance in your life. Write down your blessings and aspirations, offering them as intentions during this auspicious time.

Commune with Nature: Spend time outdoors, connecting with nature’s beauty. Engage in activities like hiking, gardening, or simply meditating under the Full Corn Moon.

Crafting and Creativity: Engage in creative activities that honor the harvest theme, such as making corn dollies or crafting corn husk decorations.

Renewal and Release: Reflect on the past months and consider what no longer serves your growth. Embrace the Full Corn Moon’s illumination as an opportunity for personal renewal and letting go.

Conclusion: Embracing the Abundance Within

As we celebrate the Full Corn Moon and Lammas on this August 1, 2023, let us come together to honor the abundance that graces our lives. Just as the corn reaches its full potential, so can we embrace our own growth and achievements. May these celestial events remind us of the beauty and interconnectedness of all life and inspire us to live in harmony with nature’s rhythms. Embrace the spirit of gratitude, giving, and celebration as we continue our journey through the cycles of life, guided by the radiant light of the Full Corn Moon and the wisdom of Lammas.

Happy Full Corn Moon and Lammas!

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Unveiling the Enchanting Energies of August 2023

WheelofYear

As August embraces the world in its warm and radiant embrace, the energies of this magical month begin to unfold, carrying with them an aura of wonder and transformation. In August 2023, the cosmic forces align to create a celestial symphony that promises to enchant and inspire us all. Join us as we embark on a journey to explore the mystical energies that August brings forth, offering us a unique opportunity for growth, renewal, and self-discovery.

The Radiant Leo Season

August heralds the reign of the confident and charismatic Leo, the lion of the zodiac. Under the vibrant influence of this fire sign, we are encouraged to embrace our inner strength, unleash our creativity, and bask in the limelight of our passions. Leo’s energy ignites a spark within us, motivating us to pursue our dreams with zeal and determination.

During this season, we may find ourselves drawn to self-expression and taking bold steps towards our ambitions. It’s a time to embrace our unique qualities, celebrate our individuality, and exude self-assurance. As the lion roars, it reminds us to be courageous and take pride in our accomplishments, no matter how big or small.

The Perseid Meteor Shower

One of the most eagerly anticipated celestial events of August is the Perseid meteor shower. As Earth passes through the debris left behind by the Swift-Tuttle comet, the night sky transforms into a mesmerizing canvas of shooting stars. The Perseids symbolize a moment of release and letting go, as the streaking meteors remind us of the beauty in impermanence and the importance of embracing change.

The meteor shower serves as a profound reminder to make wishes and set intentions for the future. Harnessing the power of this celestial spectacle, we can channel our desires into the universe, trusting that our dreams will manifest in due time.

The Full Sturgeon Moon

On August’s 14th night, the Full Sturgeon Moon graces the sky, named by indigenous North American tribes after the abundant fish found in the Great Lakes and other major water bodies. As the moon shines at its brightest, it illuminates the path of introspection, urging us to dive deep into our emotions and gain clarity on the areas of our lives that require healing and nurturing.

During this time, it’s essential to practice self-care, spend time in nature, and engage in meaningful rituals that aid in releasing emotional baggage. The Full Sturgeon Moon offers an opportunity for forgiveness and liberation from past burdens, fostering emotional growth and a renewed sense of purpose.

Embracing the Magic

August 2023 serves as a magical portal to manifest our desires and bring positive change into our lives. It’s a time to embrace our inner strength, let go of what no longer serves us, and cultivate a spirit of adventure and wonder.

Here are some ways to tap into the enchanting energies of August:

Meditation and Introspection: Take time for daily meditation and self-reflection. Connect with your inner self to gain clarity on your aspirations and align your actions with your soul’s purpose.

Creative Expression: Allow your creative juices to flow freely. Engage in art, music, writing, or any other form of expression that resonates with your soul.

Setting Intentions: Harness the power of the Perseid meteor shower by setting clear intentions for your goals and dreams. Write them down and trust in the universe’s ability to manifest them.

Connect with Nature: Spend time in nature, immerse yourself in its beauty, and feel its calming energies. The natural world has a profound way of grounding us and connecting us to the greater cosmos.

Perform Acts of Kindness: Spread love and kindness to those around you. Acts of compassion not only enrich the lives of others but also attract positive energies into your own life.

Conclusion As August 2023 unfolds its wings of enchantment, let us embrace the magical energies it bestows upon us. From the radiant Leo season to the cosmic dance of the Perseid meteor shower and the illumination of the Full Sturgeon Moon, this month offers a wondrous opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and transformation. Seize the magic, trust in the universe, and embark on this journey of inner exploration and manifestation. Together, let us make this August a month of wonder an

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Good Things Happen When You Start To Ask For What You Want

Mentor Self-Care

There is power in asking for what you want. It forces you to know yourself, what you prefer, and what you need. This clarity makes it possible to have a life filled with things you like, and the support that makes life easier and fun.

The result of asking for what you want is a ripple effect of good things that begin to materialize in your life. A satisfaction builds from living a fulfilled life by being direct and articulate about your needs.

People who don’t ask for what they want struggle with three things consistently:

Feeling unsupported. People who don’t ask for what they want feel unsupported by those closest to them at home and at work. They feel like they are always giving and compromising, while never having what they want. This is true – because no one knows what they want.

Being a martyr. This characteristic is found in people who will grudgingly support others’ decisions while sacrificing their own personal desires. This is a psychological complex – based on repeating patterns that places oneself in a victim role. People can sense your underlying anger and resentment, and will naturally avoid being in relationship with someone who acts like this.

Being passive aggressive. Without the ability to ask for what they want, people can resort to silently aggressive or sabotaging behavior to leak out their frustrations without a face-to-face confrontation. This behavior perpetuates the anger they feel and can cause rifts in relationships.

Being able to ask for what you want removes these struggles and makes it possible to have higher quality relationships and personal satisfaction.

People who ask for what they want experience these three good things:

Feeling valued. People who ask for what they want will generally receive it: from going to their favorite restaurant on date night to watching the blockbuster movie they’ve been waiting to watch. By asking for their heart’s desire, they usually find that it can happen. Feeling valued comes from being able to have your needs and wants routinely met.

Being respected. People who are direct, who know what they want, and ask for it in polite ways are respected. They are viewed as trustworthy and safe to be in relationship with. They are seen as highly confident leaders.

Being confident. The knowledge that you are valued and respected builds on itself and causes your confidence to bloom. Being a well-functioning person is attractive and rewarding. People enjoy being in relationship with confident people, and they tend to have more rewarding life experiences while not letting petty things get in their way.

Of course, the material things that come from asking for what you want are nice – but the bigger prize is the experience of being in healthy relationships that are rewarding and respectful. Living your life with a sense of value and reciprocity is never a bad thing.

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Asking Out Loud Helps You Figure Out What You Really Want

Self-Care

Have you ever witnessed a two-and-a-half-year-old child have a meltdown for what seems like no reason at all? Parents of toddlers know that oftentimes, the child doesn’t really know what it is that they want. They can’t yet articulate their desires clearly enough to avoid the emotional meltdown.

The best way to help a toddler through the cognitive process of asking for help is to get them talking out loud. The process of talking helps them identify the pieces of the puzzle in their mind, and helps them start to put those pieces together. Soon we realize that she wants her dolly to eat a bowl of pretend mashed potatoes while she rides the unicorn.

Nothing much changes as we develop into adulthood. We sometimes need to process out loud to figure things out. Our mind can work in loops. We go over and over the things that weigh on us, and sometimes the only way to break the loop is to speak out loud with someone else who can help us process those thoughts.

Asking out loud helps you figure out what you want, because there is someone else in the conversation to ask clarifying questions. These questions require you to sort through the issue and get very clear on what you need in the way of help.

Having someone to process with you isn’t the only way to verbally sort through and identify what you really want. You can have a conversation with yourself when no one else is available. Speaking and processing out loud is no different than practicing a speech or public speaking. The more you hear your own voice, the better you can identify with what is being said. Things always sound clearer when spoken aloud than when heard in our minds.

Try recording yourself and replaying the one-way conversation. These voice notes are a great way to process out loud and you can go back to review the ideas and details. This is a perfect way of capturing information when the issue is at the top of your mind -whether you are driving, exercising, or otherwise unable to write anything down. Most smartphones have a voice note app factory-installed.

Sometimes the best way to sort through a problem and ask for help is to process the issue out loud in conversation. Whether you have the help of a friend, your smartphone, or are speaking to no one in particular, the act of speaking out loud helps you figure out what you really want. From there you can prepare to get the help you need.

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