If you’ve lived your life unable, or unwilling, to ask for what you want or need, it can feel like speaking a foreign language. Your tongue can’t seem to form the words “Would you, could you, will you”? Let alone, “I’ll have, I’d like, I’ll take…” It’s going to take some practice to get you ready to ask for bigger things.

Here’s some ways to start small and work your way up to asking for bigger things:

Small Asks

Pick a restaurant. When someone asks, “Where should we eat?” be ready with your answer. Pick your favorite place and get ready for Taco Tuesday or French Fry Friday!

Pick a movie. Hate horror flicks and love a great rom-com? The next time you go to a movie, ask to see the movie you want to see – and grab some popcorn with extra butter.

Delegate one chore. Passing on responsibility can be hard for many reasons, but getting the help you need is more important than any reason you may have for hesitating. Delegate to someone else one chore that you can let go of that will make a positive impact for you.

Medium Asks

Ask a friend for help. Admitting to a friend that we could use some help can feel vulnerable. A good-sized medium ask includes exposing a need to a friend and getting their support. Need help tackling an out of control closet? Ask a friend who loves to organize for their help getting your space in order. You might be pleasantly surprised to learn they want to help.

Outsource help at home. Many of the places we feel overwhelmed and in need of help are tied to our home. From lawns to mow, to weeds to pull, to ceiling fan blades to clean, we just can’t seem to get ahead. Outsourcing some tasks at home can free up time and energy better used in other places. Have an important conversation with your spouse about rearranging your budget to get the help you need.

Share a secret desire with your spouse. This may feel like a big ask, but it really is a medium-sized ask. Approach your spouse with a long-held wish for your relationship that will make it stronger and happier. Consider what you’d love to be, do, or have in your relationship and ask your spouse to come on board with your plan. When they see the benefits they get from your happiness, they will be glad to help out.

Big Asks

Ask for support from your boss. Admitting that you need help at work might feel like a suicide mission, but it needn’t be the end of the world. Oftentimes, employers want to know when a system isn’t working or there is a way to increase production and desired outcomes. The key to this big ask is already having a solution in mind when you approach the boss. Come to them with a solution to a problem and the answer is usually Y.E.S.

Ask for the job. Do you keep waiting to be noticed? Are you putting in effort hoping that the right person will take action and hire you? Fortune favors the bold is a common translation of a Latin proverb. If you want the customer, the contract, or the job – ask for it.

Renegotiate a contract. Contracts are meant to be binding, but sometimes there are windows of opportunity to make changes. If you are unhappy with a service or a contract, don’t passively suffer. Be bold and ask for change. The worst that can happen is that nothing changes. The best thing that can happen is renewed confidence and a new, more beneficial contract.

Learning a new language takes time and practice. It’s the same for learning new behaviors. Developing the confidence to ask for what you want is easier if you take it in small steps, building on one another. Start with small asks and gather momentum as you reach higher and receive more.

Related Articles:

• Don’t Expect Others to Read Your Mind 17 July 2021
• Asking Out Loud Helps You Figure Out What You Really Want 24 July 2023
• Good Things Happen When You Start To Ask For What You Want 31 July 2023
• Start Small And Work Your Way Up To Asking For Bigger Things 7 August 2023
• 5 Tips to Make It Easier to Ask for What You Want 14 August 2023