There is power in asking for what you want. It forces you to know yourself, what you prefer, and what you need. This clarity makes it possible to have a life filled with things you like, and the support that makes life easier and fun.
The result of asking for what you want is a ripple effect of good things that begin to materialize in your life. A satisfaction builds from living a fulfilled life by being direct and articulate about your needs.
People who don’t ask for what they want struggle with three things consistently:
Feeling unsupported. People who don’t ask for what they want feel unsupported by those closest to them at home and at work. They feel like they are always giving and compromising, while never having what they want. This is true – because no one knows what they want.
Being a martyr. This characteristic is found in people who will grudgingly support others’ decisions while sacrificing their own personal desires. This is a psychological complex – based on repeating patterns that places oneself in a victim role. People can sense your underlying anger and resentment, and will naturally avoid being in relationship with someone who acts like this.
Being passive aggressive. Without the ability to ask for what they want, people can resort to silently aggressive or sabotaging behavior to leak out their frustrations without a face-to-face confrontation. This behavior perpetuates the anger they feel and can cause rifts in relationships.
Being able to ask for what you want removes these struggles and makes it possible to have higher quality relationships and personal satisfaction.
People who ask for what they want experience these three good things:
Feeling valued. People who ask for what they want will generally receive it: from going to their favorite restaurant on date night to watching the blockbuster movie they’ve been waiting to watch. By asking for their heart’s desire, they usually find that it can happen. Feeling valued comes from being able to have your needs and wants routinely met.
Being respected. People who are direct, who know what they want, and ask for it in polite ways are respected. They are viewed as trustworthy and safe to be in relationship with. They are seen as highly confident leaders.
Being confident. The knowledge that you are valued and respected builds on itself and causes your confidence to bloom. Being a well-functioning person is attractive and rewarding. People enjoy being in relationship with confident people, and they tend to have more rewarding life experiences while not letting petty things get in their way.
Of course, the material things that come from asking for what you want are nice – but the bigger prize is the experience of being in healthy relationships that are rewarding and respectful. Living your life with a sense of value and reciprocity is never a bad thing.
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